What is Love?
This question has echoed for centuries and until now no right answer. What is love is the desire self-searching as portrayed in the poem: “Love only seek pleasure himself alone” or love is the attitude of self-sacrifice as portrayed by the Apostle Paul: “Love covers all things, believes all things, endures all things?”
Whatever love is, it is difficult to understand because love is a strange mixture of things that contradict that it contains love, anger, excitement and boredom, stability and change, restriction and freedom. The most fundamental paradox of love is that the two become one, but two. Love is like a triangle has three sides, namely: Passion (Passion), Intimacy (Intimacy), and Commitment (Commitment).
Passion, the driving side in the triangle that is passion, feeling vibrations that encourage us to make love. Are sensual and sexual arousal, physiological arousal and marked by a great desire for affection expressed physically. Song of Songs tells the physical nature of love between a man and woman in a passionate poem: “May he kiss me with a kiss! Because your love is more delicious than wine “(Song of Songs 1:2). Yet the character also has a passion, encouraging the emergence of an appeal that is limited to an obsession, passion encourages couples to an excessive level of pleasure, to the point where they can no longer be separated. At this stage, other relationships are not even considered anymore.
Intimacy, the emotional side of love triangle that is intimacy. Love without intimacy is just an illusion caused by the influence of hormones. One can not covet other people for a long time without really knowing the person. Intimacy has the quality as “good friends” or “life partner”. We all want someone who knows us better than anyone else – and remain willing to accept us, and we want to have someone who does not hide any to us, somebody who entrust the secrets to our own. Intimacy fills our hearts deepest longing be closeness and acceptance.
Those who have succeeded in building an intimate relationship know the strength and beauty of that relationship, but they also know that it is not easy to bear the risks necessary for the emergence of emotional intimacy. Without the painstaking maintenance, intimacy will wither. The lack of intimacy is the main enemy of marriage, because if two people do not know each other deeply, they can not be fused or united into what is called the Bible as “one flesh” Without their intimacy will be cooped up and alone even though they live under the same roof , the emergence of love depends on the closeness, sharing, communication, honesty and support. When two hearts gave each other with each other, marriage provides the most in the intimacy of expression and the most radical.
Commitment, willingness and cognitive side of the triangle of love is commitment, commitment to look into the future that are not visible, and promised to be there – until the end of life. Commitment to create a certainty in the midst of uncertainty. A place for tying the wedding, the couple’s commitment to maintain our current love of our passion to be dim and hard times felt very heavy as well as lust anger overwhelms us.
Commitment to say: “I love you are, not because of what you do or what I feel” This illustrates the promise marriage as a gift: “total, definitely, unconditionally … a personal commitment and can not be changed.” Endurance and love health of a marriage depends heavily on the strength of commitment.
Passion, intimacy, and commitment are the elements that hot, warm, and cold in the recipe of love. These elements vary, because the level of intimacy, passion and commitment to change from time to time and from person to person. We can imagine that with the stability of the love triangle realize how love can change the size and shape of the three components of love when it increases or decreases. Area describe the magnitude of the love triangle.
Intimacy, passion and great commitment that will yield greater triangle, the greater the greater the love triangle.
But if one side of the love triangle component becomes longer than the other side, there arose a kind of love that is not balanced, such as:
Romantic love, which is formed from a combination of intimacy and passion components, namely physical attractiveness is mixed with a deep sense of concern but the commitment is not visible in this romantic love.
Love is stupid, generated from a combination of excitement and commitment and no intimacy. Love was called stupid because a commitment was made on the basis of passion, without any elements that stabilize the intimacy.
Love Friendship, arises from a combination of intimacy and commitment while receding backs passion. Love this in essence is an intimate friendship in the long term. This occurs in marriages in which physical attractiveness became less important than the security of being known and recognized by our partners.
Sometimes an unhealthy marriage is built solely on romantic love, or love that stupid, or love of friendship. But perfect love resulting from the combination of the three components intact love: passion, intimacy and commitment. Achieving a perfect love is like achieving our targets in a weight reduction program for the attainment of the ideal, perfect love does not ensure the achievement of that love is certainly eternal, eternal love can be achieved only by how much we put the love of God in our love lives.